I decided to contact my Aunt today. Whom I haven't seen or talked to for quite a number of years. And to be honest, I haven't even seen or talked to anyone in my family(other then my Dad) for just as long.
It took me around two weeks to muster up the courage. I finally decided tonight that I would just do it.
(So I called her and even though it had been a number of years I remembered her number and new it would still be the same.)

It was an interesting but some what strained conversation (at least on my end). I was kind of nervous. Which I told her during our conversation. I had preconceived notions of how our talk would play out, and I wasn't disappointed. She dominated most of the conversation which was fine by me. I listened for almost an hour to her speak about other family members lives e.g.; there weddings, pregnancies, deaths and ailments (particularly her own on the latter.) Half way through the conversation I thought was this a mistake? Probably, because she kept mentioning church and her and the other family members current involvement in it. But, then I remembered why I called her.

I have spent so much time wrapped up in my own existence wondering what I am doing with myself. I have a job, school, and my son to keep me occupied. But I don't really have any friends unless you count my coworkers and my room mate. I spend a lot of time watching and reading up on current events. And I spend more time then I probably should playing first person shooters and MMORPG's. (generally after I read or watch the news )
[Not that I am complaining by any means. Both my self and my son are healthy. And I am a reasonably happy person (my son as well) trying to live a happy low key life, here in Oregon.]


However, lately I have been feeling by not being in contact with anyone from that part of my life, I have been denying myself during all this time; the connection I had with these people. My family of.. well strangers now. And even though our political, religious and probably general views on life are on Complete opposite ends of the spectrum. I can honestly say I miss them.

These people who are now strangers were people that I knew I could say anything to, do anything around, and they would just accept me for my flaws (or what they would probably consider to be my flaws). Because, I am there blood and they are mine.

For a lot of years I have been a very resentful person and may even still be on some levels. I have been bewildered by circumstances resulting from situations that I could do nothing about. In the past I have even had thoughts like: "Who are these people, and how the hell can I possibly be related to them?"

At this point in my 30 years of living I can honestly say I feel fortunate to have had the experiences I did by being around, spending time with; and even trying to get to know, these now perfect strangers. Because no matter what has transpired in the past. They are still, and will always be My family.